So, I’m having coffee at this place by myself and this guy and a girl comes and settles right across to where I’m sitting. The girl is cute, but a little loud for the place. And from the guy’s face, it looks like he has just realised that he asked a wrong girl out, but now it’s too late to call it off, for the girl has already started talking.
So, the girl starts with what she did today, what she is going to do tomorrow, then one of her girl friend called and they had like the longest conversation of the day…
Girl: …and it was so nice. Then I had an argument with my X. He is a nice guy, but I HATE him.
Guy: (as coldly as possible says) …oh!
Girl: So, what were you doing before? It’s so nice here!
Guy: Well, I was just…
Girl: (before he could finish) GUESS WHAT? Tina is pregnant! She is going to be a MOM!! I’m so EXCITED!!!
Girl: Isn’t it exciting? She is going to have babies!!
Guy: (just as coldly) Yeah…it is exciting.
Girl: I think she is going to have triplets.
Guy: (by now has started to loose interest, but still comes up with) Wow…triplets? That’s heavy. So, when is the due date?
Girl: I don’t know. But I think it’s very soon.
Girl: I’m so excited! Her boyfriend lives just across our building. Nobody knows about it, just me.
Guy: (is little puzzled) …really? How come??
(and then she drops it)
Girl: You know what? I saw her conceiving them.
(spray of liquid comes out with the jet speed from his mouth right onto his sandwiches. I nearly drop my cup. He has surely lost it now, but at the same time, suddenly he is more interested in the conversation. And just so am I.)
Guy: EXCUSE ME? What do you mean you saw her conceiving them??
Girl: Well, I was standing in the balcony and they were doing it in the garden.
Guy: GOSH, THAT’S DISGUSTING! How could they….how could you…are you serious?
Girl: (munching on her fries) Well, they always do it like that…I guess.
Guy: What? What do you mean??
Girl: I mean how else would they do it?
(…and then it strikes him and me too)
Guy: Wait a second; Who is this Tina?
Girl: I told you, my cat?
Guy: (without realising) No, you didn’t! Wait, what…your CAT??
Girl: YES, I told YOU!
Guy: And how do you know it’s triplets?
Girl: Well, Tina always has three.
Guy:(looses it all) Alright, that’s it. CHEQUE PLEASE!!
I’m done with my coffee. As I leave the table to walk out, I turn around to look at the guy, give him the two thumbs-up, and go: …well done!